So I have roughly half an hour left on my lunch break. Let's make this quick...
2 days ago, I was assaulted with the fact that I would start taking calls at work. Oh yeah, I have a job now. As a customer support rep for an online game (booyah!) that I am not at liberty to mention the name of. But as far as I knew, I was only supposed to be handling tickets. I had no idea how this task was suddenly imposed on me out of the blue, but I just went with it. I panicked, but I went with it. I have very little room to complain because I'm being paid. I like being paid. Who doesn't, really?
So anyway, yesterday, it began. I got about 5 calls in 3 hours. Doesn't seem like a lot, but these things take forever to finish. I've never been the type who liked to speak to people -- strangers, no less -- verbally. I'm better with expressing my thoughts and opinions through writing and typing and crap. I find it more comforting to know that I can change what I'm going to say before I actually say it. Speaking just gives you too little leeway in terms of taking back what you said in favor of something better that you could have said. I'm verbally inarticulate. I stutter. I stammer. I speak slowly. I take too much time to think of words to say before I actually say them. My knees go numb when I read my own paper in front of class. I can't pronounce long words until I've said them about six hundred times within the last 2 minutes. I sweat profusely when giving a report or presentation.
Now, take all those things, but put me in front of a single person who is asking for my help regarding something that I don't have a single clue about. I don't even know how a credit card actually works --I put it in the machine, type in my code, tell the machine how much money I want, and it gives it to me; that's it -- so I can't be expected to know how yours works. Oh shit, that's actually just an ATM card. See, I don't even know the difference.
This is why this whole experience has got me so down. I've been tasked with helping people with things I have never even had the luxury of time to familiarize myself with. For 2 weeks, we learned as much as we could about the game. And that's just basics. We've had to actually go into the game and learn all the details ourselves. We had no training when it came to handling things like billing or any technical aspect. These are the kinds of things I had absolutely no intention of being a part of. I wanted to help gamers, but only with the things I have the capacity to understand or learn. I'm not happy with knowing that my own incompetence can result in our players not getting what they need. It makes me feel stupid. The last IQ test I took called me a "genius" or "gifted" or something along those lines. I might just be naïve, but I do know that I am more intelligent than I let people see. It keeps those pesky expectations away. Damn expectations.
That said, knowing that I can't put my above-average mental capabilities to good use when trying to deal with customers... I don't like how it feels. It makes me feel like the village idiot.
I'm still trying, though. I'm hoping that I'll get better at this whole "taking calls" fuckery in time, and that I'll get used to all the strange procedures. And I hope I start talking with more sense. I'm not going to quit because of this. The things I -can- do, I do very well. When I do well, I love my job. Hell, I even love my boss. I doubt a lot of people get to say that.
There goes my half hour.
Until next time. :)
