Saturday, November 13, 2010

This Blog's Title Doesn't Matter

... Nor does anything else while you're reading this.

The other day, in chemistry class, we were made to watch The Cove, an Academy Award nominated and Oscar winning documentary about the dolphin trade and slaughter happening in Taiji, Japan.

Septembers are officially the worst months of  every year. It is when dolphin hunting season begins in Taiji. They're being slaughtered for their meat, being sold as performance animals, or simply killed because they are (as the Japanese fishermen call them,) "pests" that eat too many of the ocean's fish. Scientific research says otherwise, though. The fish are just fine. They are being eaten at just the right pace, thank you very much.

Dolphin meat is poisoned with Mercury, and this is difficult (or impossible, I forget which is accurate,) to get rid of. Not all Japanese people are aware of the fact that they are even exposed to it. Dolphin meat is sold in supermarkets (labeled as FISH meat), almost ended up as part of mandatory school lunches, and is even sold at snack stands at dolphin shows. As if to add insult to injury...

Mercury... wow. It affects the embryos of pregnant women who eat the stuff in dolphin meat. Mercury degrades the nerve endings developing in unborn children. This causes them to be born (if they are lucky enough to be born at all, under the circumstances,) with physical deformities and mental disabilities. Ironically, a Japanese corporation (whose name escapes me right now) is also responsible for poisoning the oceans that dolphins inhabit. But... yes, it's been happening for many decades.

So anyway, see the link down there? It's a Facebook page of the TDAG, the Taiji Dolphin Action Group. If you can support them, it would be awesome. If you can't support them directly, at least try to find some
people who can. That is, please spread the word.

Also, if you would, look for information about a man named Ric O'Barry, who is responsible for the film The Cove. You've probably heard of the iconic dolphin in the movie Flipper. Well, Ric O'Barry was the dolphin trainer of all those separate dolphins who collectively played the character of Flipper. He loves dolphins more than anything else, and more than anyone can. Support him and the cause he... caused.

Actually, forget looking for him. I found him for you. Support!

And the documentary's website.

Please, help us save the dolphins. They've never done anything wrong to us, right? They're apparently smarter than us, very affectionate with us, and even protective of us. Help us protect them as well. Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you leave a comment, I can probably use those to share your thoughts as well. So, yeah. Please leave a comment. Thank you!

-Atom P.

Friday, November 12, 2010

What I Mean When I Mean You Harmony

This is all more or less just an excuse to be blogging again, but whatever.

Okay, so it's only over a week since I came out of the closet, which has been slightly ajar for almost 4 years (which was when I told my best friend I was in love with him), and the reactions I've gotten have been nothing but positive. I've been very much afraid of exposing my true self to a world where people within my age group ridicule and gossip about people like me (that is to say, other than straight) when we don't know it.

While in hiding, I've seen what close-minded people are capable of. They snipe and bash whoever they feel don't belong on the same planet they inhabit. It's painful to know that I have friends on both sides of the great social divide. Some of these friends don't know about me yet, since they don't actually read my blog. However they react to this fact that I am not one of them, so to speak, will determine whether they remain my friends or not. I have no intentions of associating myself with prejudiced people who choose to misunderstand those who NEED closets.

That said, I think I should prepare myself for the worst. I know how not to give in to those suicidal urges I had almost 5 years ago. Oh, have I not mentioned that? Yeah, I used to cut myself. Thankfully, the cuts were usually shallow, and healed without leaving a scar. Except for one distinct one on my left wrist, which I look at every time I feel hopeless. It reminds me that I've survived the worst, and things can only get better.

And things are indeed getting better. A few of my relatives know about me, and so do a few of my selected friends (including the two aforementioned guys). They've accepted me for how I am, and it makes me feel like I've made good decisions in friend choice. I worry more about those who haven't found out yet. But as much as I'd hate to lose my friends because of something that I am, as opposed to something that I did, I'd much rather be myself, not changing for anyone else's preference. After all, I'm an artist, and artists value individuality over all else. Those who don't, well... should.

And to finally get to the point of my blog, here's what I mean, when I mean you harmony:

In the same way the beautiful music is created with a combination of different good notes, different good instruments, and different good voices, society must consist of good people, who are all different, and are all capable of complementing each other, not pushing each other away. I want to work on that. I want to have harmony in life, society, and love. I've got the right idol (that being the social and environmental activist Jason Mraz), and I want to be an active supporter. I want people to be supporters as well.

People will be male, female, straight, gay, bi, or any combination of those. They can be of any race, too. Accept them as they are. They probably just want some harmony as well.

Help us attain harmony.
You'll be glad you did.

Thanks for reading. And for caring. And for the virtual cookies you feed me every time you do.

-Atom P.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Maintenance Post

I don't really understand what's going on with me. I'm usually brimming with words that want to be heard and read, but I can't seem to make things coherent enough to actually blog. I haven't blogged in over 2 months! That's how wasted my mind is. The usual suspects are responsible for the delay in my output: laziness, school, uninspired-ness, life in general...

I've been quite frazzled with myself lately. I've been sleeping late, for no reason, listening to the same songs over and over and over and OVER again, not willing to expand my musical vocabulary yet, figuring out what my heart wants while my mind contradicts it all. I'm confused. I'm getting desperate.

I want to get this out in the open once and for all. I'm bi. But I've known love. Like, REAL love. You'll know it's real love when your heart beats slower instead of faster, so that time slows down for you personally when the one you love walks into the room, or into your mind. In my lifetime, I've fallen in love with 2 guys and 2 girls. None of them have returned the affection, so I've currently succumbed to the fact that I'm not ready to have a relationship yet with anybody. Fortunately, one of those guys happened to be my best friend, and although he may not have the capacity to reciprocate the feelings I had (or have) for him, our friendship has remained intact. I am grateful to him for that.

I am also grateful for having the capability of expressing love to whomever I choose. And through experience, I've learned that it doesn't matter if you get love back, as long as you know you're giving it. I think that's a blessing. I say that even though I'm not religious.

I'm happy with what I am. All you homophobes can kiss my ass as I fart my optimism in your faces. Expect some shit along the way, though.

So, matters of the heart aside, there's the matter of who I am. I am a walking contradiction. I'm principled but immature. I'm fat, I'm lazy, I hate to move, but I love to dance. I'm shy, I'm introverted, but I love all my friends. I get stage-fright, but I love to perform. I'm intelligent, but my grades are always low. I'm good at everything, but I'm great at nothing. I wait all night, but I don't know what I'm waiting for. I'm objective, but highly emotional. I solve my own problems by discussing them with my pillows, and pretending that they can talk back to me (even though I'm fully aware that I'm essentially talking to myself, and sometimes I even disagree with myself). I'm probably crazy, but I speak with near-perfect grammar. I manually type the "http://" in the address bar when I surf the internet, I never use shorthand when chatting or texting, but I keep summarizing the world. I'll begin reading 10 different novels and finish less than half of those before I move on to new ones. I've got an affinity for the random, but I think logically.

I'm the blurred line between brilliance and insanity. That's a really, really thin line, people. That just means I'm special. :)

As I'm rereading my blog entry before I post, I realize that this became less of a maintenance post and more
of an exodus from my metaphorical turtle shell. This could be because I know hardly anyone cares enough to read this blog, or because I don't want any of my personal secrets canned up in me anymore. I love life, and I love to laugh, and I love to love the people who deserve it. I'm happy. The people I care about are happy. I'm not gonna waste my time worrying about what everyone else thinks of me.

Within the secrets we hide well,
Our hearts are waiting to reveal
Emotions bursting out to tell
The ones we love just how we feel.

-Atom P.