Friday, November 12, 2010

What I Mean When I Mean You Harmony

This is all more or less just an excuse to be blogging again, but whatever.

Okay, so it's only over a week since I came out of the closet, which has been slightly ajar for almost 4 years (which was when I told my best friend I was in love with him), and the reactions I've gotten have been nothing but positive. I've been very much afraid of exposing my true self to a world where people within my age group ridicule and gossip about people like me (that is to say, other than straight) when we don't know it.

While in hiding, I've seen what close-minded people are capable of. They snipe and bash whoever they feel don't belong on the same planet they inhabit. It's painful to know that I have friends on both sides of the great social divide. Some of these friends don't know about me yet, since they don't actually read my blog. However they react to this fact that I am not one of them, so to speak, will determine whether they remain my friends or not. I have no intentions of associating myself with prejudiced people who choose to misunderstand those who NEED closets.

That said, I think I should prepare myself for the worst. I know how not to give in to those suicidal urges I had almost 5 years ago. Oh, have I not mentioned that? Yeah, I used to cut myself. Thankfully, the cuts were usually shallow, and healed without leaving a scar. Except for one distinct one on my left wrist, which I look at every time I feel hopeless. It reminds me that I've survived the worst, and things can only get better.

And things are indeed getting better. A few of my relatives know about me, and so do a few of my selected friends (including the two aforementioned guys). They've accepted me for how I am, and it makes me feel like I've made good decisions in friend choice. I worry more about those who haven't found out yet. But as much as I'd hate to lose my friends because of something that I am, as opposed to something that I did, I'd much rather be myself, not changing for anyone else's preference. After all, I'm an artist, and artists value individuality over all else. Those who don't, well... should.

And to finally get to the point of my blog, here's what I mean, when I mean you harmony:

In the same way the beautiful music is created with a combination of different good notes, different good instruments, and different good voices, society must consist of good people, who are all different, and are all capable of complementing each other, not pushing each other away. I want to work on that. I want to have harmony in life, society, and love. I've got the right idol (that being the social and environmental activist Jason Mraz), and I want to be an active supporter. I want people to be supporters as well.

People will be male, female, straight, gay, bi, or any combination of those. They can be of any race, too. Accept them as they are. They probably just want some harmony as well.

Help us attain harmony.
You'll be glad you did.

Thanks for reading. And for caring. And for the virtual cookies you feed me every time you do.

-Atom P.

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